Gettin Through It…

Well, here we are…3 months into a flipping Pandemic! 2020 was supposed to be “The Year” everybody has been waiting for…now we all just wanna fast forward to the next track…2020 is the song we all skip on our favorite artists album…lol! Nevertheless, we’re here, and we gotta make the best of a crappy situation. So we try.

I will admit, at first, I did fine. Schooling was tough, mostly because my kids are used to a certain routine, and that went right out the window, no matter how hard I tried to stick to it, simply being stuck at home was the major challenge. Now school is over, and we’re still pretty much stuck at home.

Church has always been a huge part of my life, and for the first time ever, I’ve been “out” of the building for almost 3 months, and I HATE IT!!!! I miss being physically involved in all aspects of my church routine, like I said at first I was doing ok with all of this, but as time goes on, I’m struggling. I’ve never been a depressed person, and I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, but I’m definitely anxious…to the point of being angry a lot, wanting to be mouthy, and mean at times…just generally want to hit something. But I calm down, and begin to reflect on the things God has done for me…so to be positive I’ll list the top things, and by simply making this list, I feel better. I’ll never forget who has always had me, no matter what the situation!

My List:

I woke up in my right mind

I have a beautiful healthy family

I have a tiny bit of money still left from last payday

I have groceries

I have running water, and a roof over my head

I have a comfortable chair to relax in and write this

I have more clothes then is needed by any one family of 4

I have happy children

My youngest “miracle” boy is soon to be 7 and he fought all Hell as a newborn!

My children are academically and physically smart and amazing

My husband is faithful, even tho I’ve had my struggles, (I’ve been faithful too, just too friendly at times)

My husband goes to work and provides for all of us, and NEVER complains!

I have a wonderful church, even tho I can’t see them very much right now

And I talk to my sister on the regular and she lets me vent all of this (which is a HUGE help)

I have a handful of amazing friends that I can rely on for most things I might face

I have my wonderful parents who always help out with the kids

I have the ability to sing (sometimes really good and a lot of times not so good)

I have the ability and brain function to articulate my feelings into words, that may help others with their feelings and issues (🎶you’ve got issues, I’ve got em too, give em all to me and I’ll give mine to you…🎶)

I have the most beautiful nieces and nephews that I am actually apart of their lives, and I will support them 1000%

I am going on 15yrs of marriage, mind blowing that somebody would put up with this redneck this long!

I could seriously write about this all day and still only scratch the surface of how much I am blessed.

So the minor inconveniences we are going through, could be much worse in all actuality. I am reminded to be thankful and grateful for the things I’ve been given, allowed to do, and I have the choices to opt out of anything that I don’t want to do…I have the freedom to be all I want to be in life, or the freedom to do nothing. It makes all the difference to focus on the positive things rather than the negative. I will continue to be strong for those around me, even if I feel weak…it is better to help others than to focus on my problems, because by helping others with their problems ALWAYS makes me feel better. That’s just how God made me and I wouldn’t want to be any other way!

Lastly, but most importantly, God…thank you for giving me the grit and grace and fire in my heart to see your beauty in all the ugliness around us today. You’ve chosen me to fight this battle and I will fight till I’m either dead or I’m the last one standing! I’m not a quitter, nor a coward. I know when to tap out and can take it on the chin when necessary! I am a pack animal, and I will fight for the safety and integrity of my pack. I am blessed beyond all measure and forever grateful to you for all you’ve done for me. For always keeping me. I love you with my whole heart! Amen!

I will add the poems I wrote, that I believe God inspired me to write.