Hey Mom…

Well today is your birthday, you’d have turned 67…I’m thinking about how we’d have gotten you funny cards, yet wrote a serious sentiment, but still tried to disguise our seriousness with the joke…why did we do that? Why couldn’t we just be honest and tell you how important you were to us? Now we can’t. Sure I’m writing this, but you’ll never see it, I should have told you 3 months ago, when it actually would have mattered. I honestly thought you’d live forever mom, you had me fooled, even though I had an idea something was wrong, you weren’t healthy, you were losing a lot of weight, and playing the decoy game like a sandpiper bird, always pointing out dads issues with health all the while you were slowly dying and were too stubborn to tell us. Well we miss you, we’re hurt that you hid it from us, that you then left so suddenly and we’re still trying to truly grasp that you’re forever gone. My world sure has changed, you and I often didn’t see eye to eye but I’ll never doubt that you always had the best intentions and just got comfortable in your distance. You were the glue that filled all the cracks and kept us all grounded. We all rotated around you and it was always you that pulled us together, for good or bad, you were in the middle of it all, so yeah it’s weird you being gone. A lot has happened in a short amount of time. Dad is trying to move on, he’s found a nice lady to hopefully love him like he deserves, Sabrina and Alexis are still trying to get their house progressing, it’s being a nightmare. Tommie and Lisa are doing well, they’re working on their relationship and things are going well. Vern is starting his own business finally, I really miss that I can’t show you all the things we’re making and doing for it, you would be so proud! Things will get better in time, the boys miss you a lot! I miss you a lot! I wish I’d have shown you how much I loved you more often, but I can’t go back can I? Just gotta move forward and love harder than ever the ones still here to love. I’ll love you forever mom! Thank you for teaching me to be tough…even if I don’t seem so tough at the moment, I’ll be alright. All my love❤️